Nancy Drew?

Dear Diary,

Newsflash: Staying home and giving out candy on Halloween sucks. Why should you be a prisoner in your own house, catering to the selfish demands of snot-nosed kids with lame costumes who don't even bother to say "Trick-or-Treat?" Never again, Diary.

Anyway, here's a short rundown (with commentary, of course) of this year's costumes:

Nancy Drew: If you have to announce what you are without being asked, you've got a lame costume.

Spider Man: I counted 7. And there's something creepy about a 3 year-old with fake muscles.

Robin: No, not Batman; Robin. Way to solidify your child's inferiority complex.

Horse: Awesome.

Dorothy: Thumbs up. Next time, bring a fake dog.

Prince Valiant: Gaaaaaaaaaaaaay.

Angel: Creepy on a boy.

Crayola crayon: Gets points for being homemade. But still, a lame costume.

Crocodile Hunter: Awesome.

4 teenage girls dressed up like a barbershop quartet: Kind of cool... kind of dumb? I'm on the fence with this one.

Hippie demonstrator: zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

Pirate: Sadly, there were no pirates.

I don't think parents realize that their kids' costumes reflect their sense, or lack thereof, of creativity, irony, sense of humor, what have you. For example, my nieghbor down the street has two little boys. One was the Robin and one was the Prince Valiant. You gotta wonder about that family. The kids are like 3 and 4-- way too young to have come up with those ideas themselves. I'll never look at those parents the same.

Lesson learned: Don't dress your kid in a lame costume. OH! And do buy a gigantic fake spider for your front porch to scare the shit out of all the toddlers.

Love, Fluffy