Want lists? I'll give you lists.

Dogs Who Eat Cat Poo
1. My dog

Dogs Who Eat From the Bathroom Trash
1. My other dog

Things One Should Not be Expected to Do on Labor Day Weekend
1. See one's mother-in-law in a "tankini"
2. Work
3. Go to Home Depot

Candies I Thought I Would Like, but are Really Gross
1. Airheads
2. Gummy Lifesavers
3. Chewy Spree

Movies I Was Supposed to Like, but Bored the Shit Out of Me
1. Road to Perdition
2. I Heart Huckabees
3. Garden State

People Who Are Bored and/or Boring
1. Me