Don't Be That Guy

Dear Diary,

People are constantly doing things that piss me off. And I'm always thinking, "I'm so glad I'm not that guy." But I was thinking about it this morning, and I HAVE been that guy. Several times.

I've been that guy who comes in to work with a cold. (I'm that guy today. In my defense, I am not making ANY sick noises. You wouldn't know I was sick unless I told you. Wow, that's probably worse. People don't know to stay away from me. Diabolical!)

I've been that guy who takes the last cup of coffee and doesn't make more. (How many people drink coffee after 3 o'clock? Enough to make an entire pot? Probably not.)

I've been that guy who jams the copier and doesn't fix it.

I've been that guy who notices cat puke on the floor but pretends not to so that spouse will clean it up. Cat puke is man's work. I don't know why. It just is.

I've been that guy who pretends not to see someone to avoid saying hi. I only do this with the guy in the wheelchair because he's judgemental, and cripples make me uncomfortable.

Sometimes, you just have to be that guy. And it's OK.

Love, Fluffy