No, I do not have balls. It's just a saying.

Dear Diary,

First, I'd like to explain my prolonged absence. This morbidly obsese woman who works next to me had a full-body rash recently and described it in great detail to several people. It caused me such emotional distress that I lost the use of my arms for a while.

Second, I would like to provide a brief list of people/entities who can lick my balls:

- Peggy at Bank of America
- Creepy old man security guard who DEMANDS that I acknowledge his presence when I walk in or out of the lobby of my building.
- The sea hags I work with who think they are smarter than me. than I.
- The Department of Motor Vehicles

More later.

Love, Fluffy