Where's the tainted beef?

Dear Diary,

People/entities who need to chill:

1. Judgemental family members

2. Israel and Hezbollah

3. My dog

4. The temperature in City B

Today is the BHE's and my third wedding anniversary. The traditional gift for year three is leather. Since the BHE already owns a pair of leather chaps, I decided to go for a messenger bag so he can look all metrosexual on the train. But when I got home, I realized that it's fake leather. Like the time I inscribed a Latin phrase on his wedding band only to discover that it was only jibberish. He didn't notice that the Latin was jibberish, so maybe he won't notice that the leather is fake.

Oh, and now I have a new item to add to my list of ailments: E.coli poisoning. Last night at a restaurant I ordered a big, juicy burger. Still mooin' (the burger, not me). Then this morning I read that there was a ground beef recall in City B because it was tainted with E. coli. So YOU KNOW I'm going to get it. I only just got over my meningitis!

Love, Fluffy