Cubical Etiquette 201

Dear Diary,

Looks like it's time for another session of Cubicle Etiquette. I think we've covered 101 and 102, so would this be 201?

1. Don't get me wrong, I like Sabbath as much as the next guy. But as a ring tone? Come on.

2. Don't talk on your cell phone in Russian all day. It's creepy. We speak English in this country, Vladimir.

3. And speaking of cell phones, you may have noticed that this company does in fact provide telephones for our use. I'm just sayin'.

4. See that hole in your computer with the little headphone icon on it? That's so that you can listen to your crappy 106.5 without torturing your neighbors with Gwen Stefani six times a day.

5. Nobody wants to hear about how your type II diabetes is so bad your liver or kidneys are probably going to fail within 10 years. Maybe you should just put down that doughnut, fatty.

6. I think I covered this in 102, but it bears repeating. No lurking. Seriously.

7. Don't say, "Good morning, sunshine!" to anyone, ever. EVER.

That should cover it for now.

Love, Fluffy