Judgemental Koreans

Dear Diary,

Ever since I was a little girl, I have loved liquor stores. Don't get the wrong idea. My dad used to go to this place called the Three Brothers (though I only ever noticed two). We would go maybe once a week, and it was a big treat for me because they had a large stash of dum-dum lollipops behind the counter that they would freely dole out to little girls accompying their fathers on the weekly booze run. Smart marketing, let me tell you.

Anyway, over the years I have had a stream of regular liquor stores. I find that if you drink a lot, (like I do), your liquor store becomes a very personal and intimate place, much like your grocery store or your lingerie store or your shady pharmacist. It's a place you visit frequently, and you have to feel comfortable. Which brings me to the story of the Judgemental Korean Liquor Store Wife.

When the BHE and I bought our house, naturally one of the first orders of the day was to find the closest liquor store. There are several, but they all had their problems. One had no air conditioning and didn't sell chilled white wine, one's wine section was was fully enshrouded in bullet-proof glass, one had a randy rastafarian... you know the drill. The closest, cheapest, least offensive one was a place I'll call Moe's. Moe's is run by a Korean family. It has a decent wine selection, and more importantly, is on my way home from work.

The Judgemental Korean Liquor Store Wife is on the clock 6 days a week. She sees me almost 4 of every 6 of those days, yet pretends she doesn't. Acts like a stranger every time. Very prim. I know she judges me. She prefers cash. She gets visibly irritataed if you don't replace the pen in its exact spot when you sign your credit card slip. This I have learned after MANY interactions. We have a "don't ask, don't tell" relationship, the Judgemental Korean Liquor Store Wife and I do. I don't ask why her husband makes her man the cash register every waking moment of her life, and she doesn't ask me why I buy so much damn booze for a 110 pound woman.

Today, I was in Moe's again (duh). Lately, they haven't had my recent favorite-- the 12 pack of Modelo Especial with the fantastic 60's style logo. The JKLSW was manning the register, as usual. But her husband was on the lotto machine. And he said to me,

"Hey-- you the one like that Modelo beer, right?"
"Uh, yeah, I guess so"
"Don't worry- we get more next week. Sorry, we had problem with distributer."
"Oh, uh, thanks"
"I know you like that beer! You come in Monday, we have it for you!"

Judgemental Korean Liquor Store Wife glared and snatched the pen from where I had left it, on the counter.

Now why doesn't he teach his wife to make nice like that? Or why doesn't he have her on the lotto, and him making friends on the register? It's nice to be appreciated, you know? Because I WILL come back next week for my Modelo.

Love, Fluffy


malice said...

OH MY GOD SHE DRIVES ME CRAZY TOO! If I get beer (me) and whiskey (dy) she practically tsk tsk's me for being so exorbitant. and she cards us both Every. Single. Time. We want to go somwhere else so bad but it's so annoyingly close. Maybe we should open our own store? but then we'd both drown in a pool of our own drunk. miss you! xoxo - mary alice

Grateful Girl said...

My daughter calls the liquor store "The Lollipop Store." She actually requests that we stop at "The Lollipop Store." How can I say no to such a cute little girl?

Anonymous said...