Jealous?

Dear Diary,

We have several things to boast in City B, including:

world's largest trash can
crabs (and syphilis)
some historical crap
lots of water
lots of hipsters
some ghosts
me

Perhaps most importantly, though, is our very dishy mayor, who is soon to be state M's dishy governor. His soon-to-be lieutenant ain't bad either. Just thought I would say belated congrats to these two beefcakes. *swoon*

Love, Fluffy

40 and Fabulous!

Dear Diary,

I just bought a headband with tennis rackets on it. The conversation with the counter woman went something like this:

- Oh, you play tennis too?
- No.
- Oh.
- Well, my husband and I played on our first date.
- Really! So who won?
- I don't know.
- Uh huh. Your total is 6.75.
- Thanks.

You see, I like accoutrements de tennis. I have tretorns, tennis skirts, tennis sweaters, tennis rackets. But all the running and the hitting, not really my thing.

Anyway, I was in the store to buy something for Sister A's FORTIETH birthday. Didn't find anything for her. What does one get for one's sister's 40th birthday? Botox? A pool boy? Tennis lessons? I just don't know. Suggestions welcome. She likes running, reading, baking, gardening, foreign films, and tribal jewelry. Probably not thrilled about turning 40. Who would be? Jeez.

Love, Fluffy