Dear Diary,
Shopping for clothes is a traumatic experience for me. This is because:
- I am somewhat agoraphobic
- I generally dislike being physically close to strangers
- Especially unattractive and/or rude ones
- I hate parking lots and fluorescent lights
- I have an extremely short attention span
- I don't like spending money unless there is a vacation involved and/or extravagant toys for my dogs
Add to that the fact that I have a very healthy relationship with my own body image and I'd rather DIE than have to wear a size 6 and... you get the idea. I hate shopping, even for shoes.
But today I was forced to because we are going out to fancy-ish dinner for New Year's Eve and I have nothing to wear, as usual. Well I have plenty to wear, but most of it is in a bag at the bottom of my closet marked "dry cleaning". Meant to get on that.
Anyway, enter Ann Taylor Loft. I like to go there because it is not in a mall, but rather in a small, tasteful shopping center that my agoraphobic self can handle. The clientele are mostly attractive, smartly-dressed women, another bonus. Also they have lots of nautical-inspired clothes, of which I am partial. And now for the clincher. At Ann Taylor Loft, I am apparently a size zero. That's right. Zee Row. So if you're tired of the mall and feeling a little fat, I recommend taking a trip down the rabbit hole and heading down to the Loft. One nautical stripe shirt, a black skirt and 2 enamel bangles later, I've forgotten all about how the Gap keeps trying to nudge me up to a size 6. Shopping crisis averted.
Ahoy!
Love, Fluffy
21.12.07
Fa Rah
Dear Diary,
First of all, why is the theme song from "Beauty and the Beast" in my head? There is NO reason for it. Must be punishment for something I did.
Second of all, it recently occurred to me that people who are considered to be scrooges around Christmastime are really just lazy. And I am one of them. Getting into the spirit, and shopping and decorating and baking is a lot of work. Especially when everyone at the mall this time of year is an asshole. But I have made somewhat of an effort. I sent out Christmas cards! I bought copies of High School Musical II and the Dangerous Book for Boys for nieces and nephews! We even went out and got the most beautiful douglas fir last night for our living room.
But then we got it home, and we discovered that the trunk was too thick for our tree stand. This has never happened before. So we put it in a bucket of water on the back porch, where my dog promptly peed on it. Maybe I'll just throw in the towel and decorate it out there. Because that would be CLASSY.
Love,
Fluffy
First of all, why is the theme song from "Beauty and the Beast" in my head? There is NO reason for it. Must be punishment for something I did.
Second of all, it recently occurred to me that people who are considered to be scrooges around Christmastime are really just lazy. And I am one of them. Getting into the spirit, and shopping and decorating and baking is a lot of work. Especially when everyone at the mall this time of year is an asshole. But I have made somewhat of an effort. I sent out Christmas cards! I bought copies of High School Musical II and the Dangerous Book for Boys for nieces and nephews! We even went out and got the most beautiful douglas fir last night for our living room.
But then we got it home, and we discovered that the trunk was too thick for our tree stand. This has never happened before. So we put it in a bucket of water on the back porch, where my dog promptly peed on it. Maybe I'll just throw in the towel and decorate it out there. Because that would be CLASSY.
Love,
Fluffy
17.12.07
Also, eating too much microwave popcorn.
Dear Diary,
Wow, long time no nothing. I've been busy dealing with various family health crises. Nothing too serious- blood clot here, colonoscopy there. Everyone is OK, for the most part. Other recent activities include:
- watching Silver Spoons on demand (I offered the BHE $50 if he could remember Jason Bateman's character's name. Sadly, he lost.)
- appreciating Todd Rundgren's rather suggestive use of trombone in the song "Hello, It's Me"
- watching hunters drag deer carcasses out of their pickup trucks and into the custom butcher right outside my office window
- wondering if my opinion about the feds bailing out greedy lenders and stupid borrowers makes me a republican
- deciding that I really don't care that much about it after all
- hoping that the BHE picked up on my not-subtle-at-all hints and bought me the complete series of To the Manor Born on DVD for shitsmas
- wondering what I should get him, because if he is dropping hints the dogs must be eating them off the floor because I have no clue
Love, Fluffy
Wow, long time no nothing. I've been busy dealing with various family health crises. Nothing too serious- blood clot here, colonoscopy there. Everyone is OK, for the most part. Other recent activities include:
- watching Silver Spoons on demand (I offered the BHE $50 if he could remember Jason Bateman's character's name. Sadly, he lost.)
- appreciating Todd Rundgren's rather suggestive use of trombone in the song "Hello, It's Me"
- watching hunters drag deer carcasses out of their pickup trucks and into the custom butcher right outside my office window
- wondering if my opinion about the feds bailing out greedy lenders and stupid borrowers makes me a republican
- deciding that I really don't care that much about it after all
- hoping that the BHE picked up on my not-subtle-at-all hints and bought me the complete series of To the Manor Born on DVD for shitsmas
- wondering what I should get him, because if he is dropping hints the dogs must be eating them off the floor because I have no clue
Love, Fluffy
10.12.07
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