Dear Diary,

Sorry for all the suspense. I kept meaning to post this weekend, but my new complex relationship with eating takes up nearly all of my time now. Whether to eat, when to eat, what to eat, regretting what I ate... it's very emotionally draining.

And thank you, readers, for all your well wishes. Made me tear up. But so do commercials for McDonalds, so... anyway.

I know that pregnancy and motherhood turns you into a crazy person changes you forever, so while I still have some of my faculties about I’d like to remind my future self of some things I may forget in the months and years to come:

- Must not say, “We’re pregnant!” I am the only one pregnant in this scenario. Only women get pregnant, unless you’re a seahorse.

- Consider going into confinement. Nobody wants to be around pregnant women (except for maybe other pregnant women). Let’s face it, the whole thing is a bit creepy.

- Women with children are kind of like people with a drug or alcohol problem: they LOVE to have partners in crime. But fight the urge to tell your childless girlfriends that they should have them too. If I recall correctly, this is extremely irritating.

- If anyone asks about gender preference, don’t say “Oh, I don’t care as long as it’s healthy!” because we all know that’s not true. I want a girl, so that she will be a ballerina.

[Before anyone accuses me of gender-bias, I am well aware that boys can also practice ballet. But they don’t look as cute in the outfits. The BHE probably has a healthier attitude when it comes to gender. And that is, “I don’t care what it is, as long as it washes my car.”]

- Nobody is going to think that the baby is as cute/amazing/awe-inspiring as I do. Except maybe my mother. Must keep that in mind when I'm around other people. I cannot really stress this enough. I'm sure the BHE and I will get endless amusement from watching the baby move, cry, vomit, blink, whatever. But other people... not so much.

- Being pregnant, having a baby, nursing a baby, etc. makes one an expert on their own experience; not on the experience in general. Unless I become a doctor, I better keep my yap shut about telling other pregnant women what they will experience.

OK, that's done. To quote many a hollywood star's representative, the BHE and I are both "over the moon" about the news. The sick has made it somewhat less appealing, but hopefully that is on the way out. Thursday is the sonogram to get the due date and make sure there is really something alive in there. If there is not, I will be demanding an expensive vacation. But if there is, I will buy out Old Navy's maternity wardrobe for summer. Because yes, I AM cheap like that.



Cate said...

Love the post, have 4 kids, nursed all and am a former L&D nurse, but beleive me others find advice as annoying as you do,..keep up the good work. Congrats and hope the barfing ends, and appetite doesn't cause you to eat the little ones.

Broady said...

Yay! Sorry I'm late to comment, I'm just catching up on my blogs. Such great news! And the maternity clothes have been surprisingly cute this season... Old Navy, Gap, Ann Taylor, and even Target have been favorites for me. I've actually picked up some *very* cute (new) stuff off Ebay. Congratulations, and I hope you do a better job blogging about your pregnancy than I have. : )

Did I already say Yay ??

perfect just like mommy said...

Just discovered your blog today, and what an exciting time to start reading. Babies- it's not 100% joy, but there are moments of bliss. Thanks for sharing; I'm buckling in for the ride.

Muffy Willowbrook said...

AACKK! How did I miss that you are P.G.? So excited for you! Congratulations!!

Can't wait to hear your perspective on it, as you read my mind and feel the same way I do about most things.

B.A.B.Y. Baby!

Renee said...

Hey! Congratulations! I found you via Ashley's Closet many moons ago and am coming back around to say hi and get caught up, and lo and behold, you have this crazy big news. It will be fun to follow your journey through pregnancy and parenting on here. :) Take care!


PS Try the children's chewable vitamins if you can't do the yucky big pg ones

Anonymous said...