34 weeks

Dear Diary,

First of all, Edwin is surly. Here is an exchange we had last night. We were all settling in to watch some Pingu. Edwin with his milk, I with my lemonade, and the BHE with his whiskey (hey, at least one of us should be able to enjoy a stiff drink now and then.) So I said, "Hey, we all have our beverages!" And Edwin said, "Mom, they're just drinks." They grow up so fast... into 14 year-old girls.

Second, I started getting paranoid that my doctor's sole goal in life is to give me a c-section. (Don't worry, the BHE talked me down from this particular ledge.) But let me explain my crazy. The hospital where I'm delivering has the highest c-section rate in the state. When Edwin was born, the cord was around his neck and his heart rate kept dipping and the doctor was like, "we might have to go down the hall..." And I was like oh no we won't and I pushed that baby out toot sweet. But there was pitocin involved. At some point I was given pitocin to, and I quote my OB, "get this party started."

Now, my memory of Edwin's birth is fuzzy. I don't know what happened when. I was only in the delivery room for about 3 hours and I was terrified the whole time so it's all kind of a blur. But I started wondering whether they gave me the pitocin before or after his heart went weird. Because there are c-section conspiracy theorists out there who say that some doctors push pitocin to deliberately put the baby into fetal distress so that they have a reason to do a c-section so that they can get home and watch CSI.

Now I'm not a home-birther type or even a natural childbirth type. But this issue had me all worked up and paranoid and I started telling the BHE we should just have the baby at home in the kiddie pool. But then the BHE reminded me that no OB is going to deliberately put my baby in distress and then chase me with a scalpel. And that they gave me the pitocin AFTER his heart rate went wonky. I even saw the doctor in question today and told him I was freaked out by the whole experience last time and that I definitely did not want a c-section and reminded him that he could just tivo CSI if everything takes too long. He reassured me that everything should go smoothly and he understands that I don't want a c-section and to please relax, insane pregnant person.  

I would also like to say that obviously, a c-section is fine if the baby is in serious danger. Do what you gotta do, duh. But it just seems to me that sometimes the doctors will suggest a c-section when it's not exactly an emergency and some women are like well, OK, let's just go ahead and do that. I just want my doctors to know that I am not one of those women. Because I am WAY MORE scared of surgery than of pushing a baby out.

OK, enough about that. Here's a picture of Edwin pretending that this hose sprinkler thing is his microphone. In front of a party full of strangers.


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