Whisking is a maybe

Dear Diary,

One of the misconceptions I have about myself is that I like to bake. I like the idea of baking, and I do get smug satisfaction from saying that I have baked something, but in reality baking often makes me cry and/or throw things. I have a few standard items that I make because they are easy and require few ingredients and no other gear besides a bowl and spoon. These include banana bread, peanut butter cookies, and... hmm. That's it, actually.

When Christmas rolls around I do like to bake some cookies to make it seem like I'm a functioning wife/mother. But looking at one of my cookbooks this evening, I discovered that there are certain limits I have with what I will deal with in a recipe. For example, if a recipe has too many ingredients, I just say no. Also, there are certain instructions that I just will not do, and if I see those phrases in the recipe I stop reading right there. Here they are, in no particular order.

"rolling pin" (not going to happen)
"melt the chocolate," "double boiler" (no and no)
"finely chop" (very unlikely)
"using a pastry bag" (often a recipe will look totally doable until this point; so disappointing)
"candy thermometer" (often appears with "stir constantly," which is a definite no)
"in a separate bowl" (whoa, too complicated)
"egg whites" (goodbye)

It probably takes me more time to find recipes that meet my criteria than it would to actually follow a normal cookie recipe. But it's better than tears and broken dishes.

Love,
Fluffy