Dear Diary,
What kind of person comes into work at 6:30, goes into the kitchen, and makes a pot of decaf? Whoever it was, they better stay out of my way today.
31.8.04
27.8.04
Nasal-ey Cat Lady
Dear Dairy,
There's this woman where I work (I think you know where this is going). She is single and bitter, and always glares at me. She also has a skater-girl haircut circa 1991. Also she has this strange defensiveness about why she's dieting. She'll say how she can't have a donut or that she's going to the gym, but in the same breath say, "I know I'm not fat or anything..." I'm like, I think you better look again, tubby.
Anyway, right now she is talking to a woman who sits near me. About her cats. In GREAT detail. Way to play right into that stereotype! What's worse, they have people names. Like "Pete". So at first I thought she was talking about her man. Then I realized that no, it's her cat who is peeing on the futon.
Did I mention her whiney-nasal voice?
Love, Fluffy
There's this woman where I work (I think you know where this is going). She is single and bitter, and always glares at me. She also has a skater-girl haircut circa 1991. Also she has this strange defensiveness about why she's dieting. She'll say how she can't have a donut or that she's going to the gym, but in the same breath say, "I know I'm not fat or anything..." I'm like, I think you better look again, tubby.
Anyway, right now she is talking to a woman who sits near me. About her cats. In GREAT detail. Way to play right into that stereotype! What's worse, they have people names. Like "Pete". So at first I thought she was talking about her man. Then I realized that no, it's her cat who is peeing on the futon.
Did I mention her whiney-nasal voice?
Love, Fluffy
12.8.04
twenty nine
Dear Diary,
This weekend I turn 29. That means that I only have one more year to use being in my twenties as a categorical excuse for bad behavior. But I'll worry about that when I turn 30. For now, here's a list of what I want for my birthday.
1. attention
2. tap dancing lessons (this should help with #1)
3. tap shoes (duh)
4. ballet slippers (for the leaping)
5. lots of martinis (vodka, please)
6. diamond earrings (always)
Did I mention that the BHE and I will be on Coast W for my birthday? We are going to his brother's wedding. He's marrying this rich girl who looks like she's been genetically engineered with blue blood from a Westport laboratory. I haven't found a flaw in her yet, and believe me I've been looking. As you can imagine, this makes me very uncomfortable. I don't know if she realizes that this is a competition, but I say bring it on. I was thinking of showing up to their wedding in my wedding dress, but that may be a bit much. Diamond earrings and tap shoes should suffice.
Love, Fluffy
This weekend I turn 29. That means that I only have one more year to use being in my twenties as a categorical excuse for bad behavior. But I'll worry about that when I turn 30. For now, here's a list of what I want for my birthday.
1. attention
2. tap dancing lessons (this should help with #1)
3. tap shoes (duh)
4. ballet slippers (for the leaping)
5. lots of martinis (vodka, please)
6. diamond earrings (always)
Did I mention that the BHE and I will be on Coast W for my birthday? We are going to his brother's wedding. He's marrying this rich girl who looks like she's been genetically engineered with blue blood from a Westport laboratory. I haven't found a flaw in her yet, and believe me I've been looking. As you can imagine, this makes me very uncomfortable. I don't know if she realizes that this is a competition, but I say bring it on. I was thinking of showing up to their wedding in my wedding dress, but that may be a bit much. Diamond earrings and tap shoes should suffice.
Love, Fluffy
9.8.04
Lessons
Dear Diary,
This weekend I learned many things.
1. Benadryl on an empty stomach makes my dog throw up pink.
2. Natty Boh brings out the best in everyone.
3. If I tell the BHE that spiders are crawling all over me, he'll finish the yard work and tell me to get a drink.
4. My mother-in-law thinks I look pretty made up like a french whore.
5. Crosswords, crosswords, crosswords!
6. If the BHE is watching a baseball game, he will only make out with me during commercials.
Ta!
This weekend I learned many things.
1. Benadryl on an empty stomach makes my dog throw up pink.
2. Natty Boh brings out the best in everyone.
3. If I tell the BHE that spiders are crawling all over me, he'll finish the yard work and tell me to get a drink.
4. My mother-in-law thinks I look pretty made up like a french whore.
5. Crosswords, crosswords, crosswords!
6. If the BHE is watching a baseball game, he will only make out with me during commercials.
Ta!
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