Dear Diary,

This weekend I learned many things.

1. Benadryl on an empty stomach makes my dog throw up pink.
2. Natty Boh brings out the best in everyone.
3. If I tell the BHE that spiders are crawling all over me, he'll finish the yard work and tell me to get a drink.
4. My mother-in-law thinks I look pretty made up like a french whore.
5. Crosswords, crosswords, crosswords!
6. If the BHE is watching a baseball game, he will only make out with me during commercials.