Dear Diary,
Today I am leaving my job here at Company V for Company A. Company A threw a pile of money and a laptop at me, so they have won my allegiance. Also, they have dogs in the office. Also, better coffee. Also, when I interviewed I did not once hear the word "leverage" used as a verb. I hate that.
So off I go, to work for a soulless multinational corporation, who may indeed be responsible for some of the annoying popup ads you get when you're trying to read celebrity gossip. And may also be spying on your shopping habits. You know how sometimes you go to JCrew and pick out a bunch of shit you can't afford just to pretend? They know. They know when you do that. That's why the next day you get a "Free Shipping on $100 or More!" spam from them.
Did I mention the pile of money? And the dogs?
Love, Fluffy
10.6.05
6.6.05
Train Me
Dear Diary,
I want to try and exercise more, now that bathing suit season is upon me. Also, my drivers license says I weigh nearly 15 pounds less than I do. It was, at one time, accurate. In fact, it was accurate for over 10 years. But then I got married and fat, and now I'm just a liar.
Anyway, back to the exercising. I'm not an athlete, so I'll have to do it my own way. But apparently walking very briskly for eight blocks doesn't count if you're walking to buy cigarettes. Neither does racing the BHE down the stairs to beat him to the leftover Indian food. The jury's still out on jogging to the neighborhood bar. Would it count if I ordered red wine instead of beer? I think I need a personal trainer.
Love, Fluffy
I want to try and exercise more, now that bathing suit season is upon me. Also, my drivers license says I weigh nearly 15 pounds less than I do. It was, at one time, accurate. In fact, it was accurate for over 10 years. But then I got married and fat, and now I'm just a liar.
Anyway, back to the exercising. I'm not an athlete, so I'll have to do it my own way. But apparently walking very briskly for eight blocks doesn't count if you're walking to buy cigarettes. Neither does racing the BHE down the stairs to beat him to the leftover Indian food. The jury's still out on jogging to the neighborhood bar. Would it count if I ordered red wine instead of beer? I think I need a personal trainer.
Love, Fluffy
3.6.05
Brain Freshener
Dear Diary,
I'm having a difficult day because I woke up with Aerosmith's "Love In an Elevator" in my head. It's been about three hours, and it won't stop. I don't know what I've done to deserve this. Is it because I made fun of the BHE again for liking Toad the Wet Sprocket? This has started a downward spiral of suck:
- Someone brought in donuts, so now I'm fat.
- It's friday and nobody has asked us to do anything.
- The BHE has poison ivy so he's not allowed to touch me.
- Which means we can't practice our cha-cha-cha routine.
- The Aerosmith is still in my head.
I'll have to amend this situation pronto. I'll need martini fixings and my tap shoes. And a recording of "Walking On Sunshine", which Friend M insists will clear any unpleasant song from your head without leaving itself behind. It's kind of like Febreze. Wish me luck.
Love, Fluffy
I'm having a difficult day because I woke up with Aerosmith's "Love In an Elevator" in my head. It's been about three hours, and it won't stop. I don't know what I've done to deserve this. Is it because I made fun of the BHE again for liking Toad the Wet Sprocket? This has started a downward spiral of suck:
- Someone brought in donuts, so now I'm fat.
- It's friday and nobody has asked us to do anything.
- The BHE has poison ivy so he's not allowed to touch me.
- Which means we can't practice our cha-cha-cha routine.
- The Aerosmith is still in my head.
I'll have to amend this situation pronto. I'll need martini fixings and my tap shoes. And a recording of "Walking On Sunshine", which Friend M insists will clear any unpleasant song from your head without leaving itself behind. It's kind of like Febreze. Wish me luck.
Love, Fluffy
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