The Crazy Quiet People

Dear Diary,

I don't trust this John Roberts. He looks plastic and innocuous, and nobody seems to have anything bad to say about him. This scares me. I think he's either:

1) Satan
2) a robot
3)Robot Satan
4) a serial killer

Seriously, look at the guy. Can't you see him going totally postal, or shooting devil beams out of his eyes?

Love, Fluffy