Exploitation! Meow.

Dear Diary,

Maybe the cat with two tongues just wants some privacy. I don't think it was her idea to alert the media. I've found that cats generally shun media attention. My cat is terrified of microphones. I know because I tried to interview him once, and it ended badly. Hey, my dog humps his own face. I could probably make some money off that. But as of yet he hasn't expressed interest in inviting Stone Phillips over to do a Dateline expose. If he wants to one day, that's fine. But it's not my decision to make.

Poor two-tongued cat.

Love, Fluffy


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