The Loser Lunch

Dear Diary,

Often here at Company V, we make fun of each other for eating "loser lunches". Somebody asked me this morning, "What constitutes a loser lunch?" I think you usually know it when you see it. But I will provide some guidance here.

You know you have a loser lunch if:

- You have to use an inappropriate utensil to eat it (yogurt with a fork, macaroni and cheese with your hands, etc.)

- You brought leftovers that you don't even bother to heat up.

- It's peanut butter and jelly.

- You're eating cereal mixed into yogurt. That is not lunch.

- Same with oatmeal.

- It came from the vending machine or 7-11. (Unless, of course, it is a 1/4 lb. Big Bite. Then, my friend, you have yourself a WINNER lunch.)

- It was left over from a meeting full of strangers.

These are general guidelines. But sometimes the loser lunch is unclear. One time I brought a turkey bologna, pickle and cheese sandwich from home. I was pretty excited about it, until Co-worker L asked me if I had bought it with food stamps. So go figure.

Love, Fluffy