1234 I Declare a Thumb War

Dear Diary,

First of all, this site is effing hilarious.

Second of all, we hired a trainer to come to our house for our dogs because we're too embarassed to bring our lab out in public. (He humps his own face.)

Third of all, why does marriage (or rather, in-laws) have to ruin a perfectly good holiday like Thanksgiving? I used to love that shit.

Fourth of all, somebody just FARTED OUT LOUD in my office. I think it was that creepy Russian. I thought it went without saying, but rule number 15 for cubicle etiquette: No farting.

Love, Fluffy