This house. It kills me.

Dear Diary,

If I want to make microwave popcorn while I'm blow-drying my hair, I should be able to do so, no questions asked, no fuses blown.

I don't want to consider doors that close and faucets that don't spray water in your face a luxury.

Have I mentioned the basement? Probably not, because I refuse to go down there for fear of never coming back alive. Hazards include unidentified musical equipment, enormous submarine-like oil tank, a wading pool, spider crickets, mysterious storage spaces that may or may not contain dead bodies, and a faint barnacle smell.

So my advice for the day is: Broke and lazy people shouldn't buy old houses. Unfortunately we are both, and we did.

Contemplating a nice, bland colonial in the 'burbs,


Alison said...

.....or not!
Bland-n-'Burbs does not become you, FW.

Sister B said...

Ha ha ha ha ha ha! Yes, "broke & lazy" does not mix well with "old & fixer-upper"

Ashley said...

Broke and lazy doesn't even mix well with "newly built" because as it turns out, you have to maintain these damn places.

I have also pleaded to Mr. Ashley that a toilet that flushes without me having to hold the handle for 5 frikkin minutes is a necessity and not a luxury. It's on the list...the never-ending, never-shorter list.

Cake said...

SPIDER crickets??? I loathe insects...and my "fruit cellar" sounds like your basement. I DO NOT go in there.

LMAO at your advice..this B&L will file that away!


Anonymous said...