Open Sez Me

Dear Diary,

I’m at 12 weeks and the pregnancy sickness is NOT gone. I thought it was, but no. It seems to have morphed into a situation where I have to eat something with protein in it every hour or so or else I curl up into a ball and start crying and telling the BHE that I’m not tough enough for pregnancy and that if I feel sick for one more day I will surely die and if not, then surely resent my child. And then he says “here dumbass, eat a sandwich.” And then I feel better and start twittering about what color to paint the nursery and how, oh my god, our baby is probably going to have red hair and won’t that be so effing cute.

So now that I know what triggers the sick (not eating), I am stockpiling an arsenal of protein-y snacks to fight back.

Enter Trader Joe’s. I am fortunate enough to work within walking distance of a Trader Joe’s. I went there today, and I bought so much snack food that I almost blurted out to the cashier, “Well, I’m PREGNANT.” But he was wearing this really stupid leprechaun hat and green bespangled suspenders, so I figured he probably had other things to worry about.

Anyway, something magical happens when toasted sesame seeds are combined with honey and then baked. Mediterranean cultures have known this for millennia. TJ’s knows it too, and uses it to its full snack food advantage. May I present case in point (excuse the cell phone camera photo):



If you have not tried these, they are actually nothing more than sweet little crunchy nuggets of CRACK.

Also, check out these tasty morsels:


This was a very calculated purchase on my part. You see, the word “currant” will cause the BHE to recoil in disgust. He has some sort of deep-rooted aversion to raisins, currants, dried fruit of any kind. But that's between him and his therapist. We’ve been having some issues lately for the past 7 years with him constantly eating all the food in the house, so I’m forced to buy things he doesn’t like and/or is allergic to. It’s the only way to keep him away from my food. He’s lucky he won’t have to learn the hard way what happens when you come between a pregnant woman and her snacks.

I also bought dark chocolate covered edamame, jelly beans, and some assorted baked goods. Also a 3-pack of those 72% cacao dark chocolate bars. So here’s hoping that if I just keep stuffing these snacks in my face all day, I won’t go to the dark side. I guess this is how the whole getting fat thing starts! Eh, bring it on.

Love,
Fluffy