Note to self: HIDE BRUISES

Dear Diary,

So I'm up at 5 AM, worrying about my mother-in-law. Not her health; no no, I assure you she is healthier than you or I could ever aspire to be. But we have invited her to come stay with us for Mother's Day weekend. Stay. At our house. Like, overnight.

My mother-in-law is someone who is... observant. No defect gets by her. ("You know you could just retile that and it would look great. Did you notice that the paint in the bottom of your toilet bowl is wearing off? Goodness, how did you get that bruise? (Grabbing my hand) Oh Fluffy, are you still biting your nails? My, you look thin: Fluffy, have you been cooking healthy food for him? Don't you worry about those curtains catching on fire? I think the tin foil goes shiny side down, dear.") Whereas my mother comes into my house and says, "Oh, I just love your adorable house! Love love love, wonderful wonderful beautiful! This is just cheap Ikea crap? NO WAY." my MIL points out the age and decay and what we should be doing about it.

So, yeah. Not the most stress-free houseguest. I'm up at 5 AM because I'm running through the list of things I must do before she can set foot in this house. The list ain't short, and includes things like buying a deadbolt for the basement door so she can't go down there and "observe" all the water damage. The BHE does not get worked up about this at all; I suppose after a lifetime of hearing her helpful hints and suggestions he just ignores them.

Is it universal, to feel the need to impress upon one's mother-in-law the fact that one is actually doing just fine and taking good care of one's husband and able to entertain like an adult and no, she did not get that bruise from falling down in a bar? Perhaps I am more sensitive to this because, being the WAY youngest of four I found the need to prove myself grown-up and mature so everyone would finally stop thinking of me as the baby. But the BHE is the youngest too and doesn't have that problem.

i can has therapeez? kthx.



Muffy Willowbrook said...


MIL over night? yowza.

If you get through this, you deserve an award.

PS - I'm the same way.

Anonymous said...

Oh Fluffy! This is a game you will neva-eva win! How do I know this? 24 years of marriage and my stomach still churns even if she just comes over for dinner. Have you ever tried to cook a meal that MIL approves of? Did you ever try to make a meal without garlic, onion or any spice? Upsets her stomach. She doesn't eat Mexican...or Chinese...or Indian...or Italian (right...no spaghetti or pizza). Did you every try to make a meal for an MIL who has concluded that the "steak" they serve at the Golden Corral Buffet is "the best I've ever eaten"?

Yeah, gooood luck with your mother's day visit. I'll be taking mine to one of her favorite haunts...hmmm...Old Country Buffet anyone?

Your fan, Sheila

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