Ass Explosions

Dear Diary,

So this morning while I was changing Yertle (after a rather large poop) he shot a mighty stream of poo all over the wall of the nursery like a firehose. Seriously, it shot like 3 feet. It. Was. So. Gross. I don't want to get into what our dogs did with this bounty, but let's just say that in future I will be closing the door to the nursery during diaper changes.

Also, did I mention that I was only in the delivery room for 3 hours before he was born? And that it only took 8 minutes to push him out? Who knew I was so awesome? Not me. Well, I'm sure the pitocin helped with the speedy delivery. There was fetal distress, cord around neck, heartrate dropping into 50s with my contractions. A terrifying experience at times. I will write it all up at some point. But I just wanted to explain the "Fast Eddie" nickname. It's not because he's a hustler or anything. Not yet, anyway.



Kate said...

I have heard of these babies with superhuman poo powers. I have yet to experience it myself, thank christ, but I'm sure I'm due. Very, very cute! (the baby, not the poop).

Muffy Willowbrook said...

Whoa - you are an impressive pusher. I have never heard of a more speedy delivery.

I once dated a Fast Eddie. And he was definitely a hustler. You better keep an eye on that kid.

Me said...

Oh, give him time. There will be all sorts of ways for him to live up to "Fast Eddie" ;)

and I can't wait to read it.

Bailey said...

I knocked on wood that Peanut will not have projectile poo. Fast Eddie sure is adorable, despite the exploding poo powers.

Broady said...

8 minutes of pushing??! Good God. I pushed for almost 3 hours then had to have a C-section... but glad that everything went well for you and Yertle. Sounds like it was a bit dramatic.

Can't wait for the whole story. Enjoy your Poopy Grenade!

Anonymous said...