Housewife Fluffy, Day 1

Dear Diary,

The BHE returned to work today, so it is my first official day of temporary stay-at-home-momdome. I have become very attached to the BHE's constant presence, so contemplating this day over the last 2 weeks often reduced me to tears. Who is going to refill my water glass? Who will hold the baby while I pee? Who will pick up my cell phone for me when I drop it and can't bend down to get it because there is a person attached to my boob? Also, I just like having him around. It's beneficial to have one parent at home who is not subject to the post-partem anxiety, hormones, weeping, panic, and general instability.

Anyway, today has been going better than I expected. I discovered the trick to getting things done (like going to the bathroom, showering, and eating breakfast). Putting the baby down. I know, not rocket science. But one of the other of us has been holding this kid nonstop for 2 weeks straight. Partly because he likes it, partly because he is freaking cute, partly because I feel guilty when I put him down, etc. etc. But this morning I put him in his crib while I took a shower and he didn't scream or call social services or anything. Granted, the phone was out of his reach. Anyway, then I brought up some laundry to fold, THEN since he was being so agreeable, I went out and got a massage! Just kidding.

Oh, and he shit on me while I was on the phone with my sister. Then when I took him up to change him (and change myself as well) he peed all over the nursery wall. That is the second time so far he has crapped in my general direction. The last time, he was peacefully snoozing on my chest and I guess his diaper had slipped out of place a little because suddenly his ass exploded and there was poo running down my pants. INSIDE my pants. Yes, my baby crapped my pants for me.

Can you believe he would do such a thing?



Me said...

I give you 3 months before you are all "oh crap I left that baby around here somewhere".


Mama H said...

I've been reading your blog throughout your pregnancy, but know that he is here, all of your stories are reminding me of where I was just six short years ago with my first born.

Awwww.... sentimental-ness-ity.


Broady said...

Well, I can say that my son hasn't crapped my pants for me yet. That was hilarious (to read about)!

I've found the way to getting things done is called Comcast On Demand. Not sure if you have comcast, but they have short programs developed with baby's ages in mind.

So, while the Bear gets 12 minutes of bilingual baby genius programming, I get a shower. We do that a few times throughout the day... I think he started watching and following the programs with big, colorful graphics and classical music at about 3 or 4 weeks. It's really been wonderful, and I don't feel guilty at all b/c he enjoys it, and it is great stimulus for a developing little brain!

Fluffy Windover said...

Broady, that is a great idea. The problem we have here is the 2 dogs with whom I cannot leave him unattended. It is a total zoo up in this piece. I'll have to figure something out. Baby gates, I guess.

Kate said...

Shit, man, I didn't take a shower for most of my maternity leave. Not really, but honestly I still haven't made it back to the land of daily hair washing. Who has time?

Anonymous said...