Rock Bottom

Dear Diary,

I have bad eating habits. Very, very bad. The BHE likes to say that I eat like a 5-year old. French fries, grilled cheese, fast food, and anything from a vending machine are among my favorites. I make sure that Edwin eats healthy food but I, on the other hand, can't be bothered. I think this is just one of the many manifestations of my profound laziness. I always figure that I'll start eating healthy one day. Like maybe if I start to get fat, or develop gout, or something.

Today though, I think I hit rock bottom. At work this morning I found myself eating donuts -- wait for it -- from the vending machine. Now, I am no donut snob. While I like a good Dunkin Donut, I do not turn my nose up at 7-11 donuts. Never met a donut I didn't like (except jelly, barf). But these vending machine donuts were... disgusting, waxen rings of death. I was horrified at myself for eating them. Or for even considering eating them. What is wrong with me?

So I threw them out, and sent the BHE an email declaring my renouncing of all junk food! But then I realized I better take it slow, because if I go and renounce all junk food just like that I will starve to death. So I'm starting with vending machine food.

Unless it's Goldberg's Peanut Chews. Those don't count. Or raisinettes. Those really aren't all that bad and that counts as some fruit, right? Oh, and Smartfood popcorn. Because our vending machine rarely has that stocked so when they do you better believe I'm getting it. But other than that... no more vending machine food for me.

Love,
Fluffy