Killing time

Dear Diary,

I love my job. I don’t mean that I love what I do. I am a technical writer, which means, as I like to say, that I am technically a writer. Because it’s rare that I have to craft a sentence from scratch. I usually spend the day editing some technical jargon into somewhat understandable prose. Or, typing a bunch of codes into a table. Or, fixing other peoples’ crappy formatting. That sort of thing. I feel grateful to have a job, one that is flexible and not too stressful. I have no problems with the company that employs me. I’ve been here a long, long time, the people are nice, and there are great places to eat lunch. Seriously, the lunch options are endless and varied. What I’m saying is, if you work with me and read this post. Please don’t get me fired. OK? But sometimes I get bored and have to waste time. And here are a few of the ways I do that.

- Our company has an employee directory that includes home address. Sometimes I like to look up peoples’ addresses on zillow.com and see how much their house is worth. Better yet, see when they bought it and for how much. Truly fascinating. Spoiler alert: everyone has a bigger house than mine. Except for the young whipper-snappers who rent apartments.

- I stare out the window for inordinate amounts of time. I am on the 6th floor and have a birds-eye view of several parking lots and alleys. I keep hoping that some day I will see someone get robbed and be the star witness at a big trial.

- Sometimes I like to walk to the art supply store up the street. I am not an artist, but I like to pretend.

- When the weather is nice I often take a stroll to the courthouse garden, which is lovely. You can often overhear a juicy lawyer conversation.

- I hide out in the library across the street quite a bit. And I’m not the only one—there are always other coworkers in there.

- There is a movie theater in our building. I KNOW. I’ve worked there almost 10 years, and not once snuck out to see a movie. But I’ve definitely considered it. Just knowing it’s an option is enough. I wonder if they would let me buy candy and popcorn without seeing a movie? That would be great, to bring popcorn and a box of milk duds to my desk.

- If there is a coworker who I don’t like or seems creepy, I like to search for their name in court records for any past convictions or lawsuits. What? It's public record, and I like to know what kind of people I'm sharing the coffee machine with, you know?

- When I run out of time-wasting options, I sometimes do actual work.

Love,
Fluffy