27.12.04

Tin Foil Wisdom

Dear Diary,

Somehow, the BBE and I got Shitsmassed into going to not one, but TWO family gatherings. I use the term "family" loosely here, because one gathering involved many people of no family relation to either me or my husband. But that's another story.

The issue at hand: I will never again under any circumstances offer to help my mother-in-law prepare for a party. Because apparently I don't know how to use my own crock pot, I don't understand tin foil, I have trouble shredding carrots with the DULLEST KNIFE EVER, and I didn't put the cocktail nuts in the right spot. Girls, remember that your mother-in-law's way is the ONLY RIGHT WAY. Just sit back and drink. Don't help.

By the way, according to Reynold's Wrap there is absolutely no difference between the shiny and dull sides of tin foil. I am dying to forward the following tidbit of tin foil wisdom to my mother-in-law (since she made me re-wrap the ham because I had wrapped it with the shiny side out).

"Actually, it makes no difference which side of Aluminum Foil you use—both sides do the same fine job of cooking, freezing and storing food. The difference in appearance between dull and shiny is due to the foil manufacturing process. In the final rolling step, two layers of aluminum foil are passed through the rolling mill at the same time. The side coming in contact with the mill's highly polished steel rollers becomes shiny. The other side, not coming in contact with the heavy rollers, comes out with a dull or matte finish."

In your face.

Love, Fluffy

P.S. - I miss my real mom. She went to visit my sister for Shitsmas. She would never make me rewrap a ham. She knows it doesn't matter which side.