5.4.05

Resume

Dear Diary,

With my current job satisfaction at an all-time low (leaving early to get a pap smear is even a treat) I've been working on my resume. What a joke. Microsoft Project and RoboHelp my ass. This is what I've really been doing the past few years.

Fluffy Windover

Education:
- BA, University of M. Met bare minimum of requirements.
- Three failed grad school attempts, various institutions.
- One graduate "certificate" (afraid to say what it is, lest potential employer might think I know anything about the subject matter)

Experience:
Wife (2003-Present)
Homeowner (2003-Present)
Binge Drinker (1996-Present)
Recreational Drug User (1991-1994)
Serial Dater, Specializing in Friends from College (1997-2001)
Happy Hour Hostess (1998-2000)

Skills:
Gracious hostessing, doing crossword puzzles, rationalizing irresponsible behavior, making boring people feel interesting, arm touching, recognizing famous people, naming tunes, doing taxes, laughing.

There. Now wouldn't you hire me?

Love, Fluffy