10.1.08

Sleepless

Dear Diary,

Things I want that the BHE won't let me have:

1. A Dyson slim.
His argument: "You never vacuum."
My argument: "Duh, I WOULD if I had one."

2. A tempurpedic mattress.
His argument: "You can't sleep because you let our 70 lb lab sleep next to you."
My argument: "No, I can't sleep because I don't have a $6000 mattress."

3. Third dog.
His argument: "We can barely handle the two dogs we have."
My argument: "THIRD DOG!!!"

4. A career as a stay-at-home mom.
His argument: "We don't have children."
My argument: "It's going to be a full-time job taking care of three dogs."

Love,
Fluffy

P.S. - Currently suffering from insomnia because I cracked the whip and made the dog sleep on his dog bed, but he felt so heartbroken and dejected he went downstairs instead. And now I can't sleep because he thinks I don't love him anymore.