I was able to catch a bit of the Oscars last night...
- I'm wondering whether Harrison Ford was drunk or having a stroke. At his age, I guess it's hard to tell.
- Um, Diablo Cody? Mrs. Roper called, and she wants her dress back. Just get it dry-cleaned first.
- Hello, Cameron Diaz? Sweetie, it's customary for people presenting at the Oscars to actually get their hair done. By a professional.
That's all for now.