Beam Me Up, Scotty

Dear Diary,

I guess I'd better post before the insanity of the holidays really sets in, and while my son, who is actually a "never-nap", is in his crib for the charade we like to call nap time.

We are heading down to Colonial Williamsburg for Christmas (that's where my MIL lives) and yes, totally buying Edwin a tri-cornered hat.

In other news, here he is in his captain's chair.



This high chair had been sitting in the box it came in since my baby shower, and looking at it the other day I discovered that he did not have to be able to sit up on his own to use it. I was like wait, you mean I could have been neglecting him THIS WHOLE TIME?? So we set that bad boy up toot sweet. He seems to enjoy it; he sat in there for like 40 minutes yesterday watching me bake banana bread.

And here he is in our bed, which is pretty much where he sleeps for the time being, since he has outgrown the basinette and refuses to sleep in his crib. He was totally cracking up during this photo shoot. He thinks it's hilarious that we expect him to start sleeping in his crib starting next week. Hilarious, I tell you. Actually, he probably thinks that we're the ones who will start sleeping in his crib so that he gets the big bed all to himself.

Love,

Fluffy

BEAR SUIT

Dear Diary,

OMFG it's a bear!

Anyway. See the beautiful quilt upon which this ferocious beast is poised? A woman we don't even know made that for Edwin. Some old lady friend of the BHE's mom or something. Amazing how people go crazy for babies, no?

And since I promised some workplace material... you may remember me mentioning the unattractive Briton? The one with the face like a bullfrog? Well, I had another unfortunate run-in with her last week. She already hates me, and now she thinks I'm trying to kill her.

I was driving into the parking garage at work, talking to my friend JH on the phone. Yeah, yeah, I know. I totally gab on my cell phone while I'm driving. I know I shouldn't; get off my back. It's not illegal here yet. Anyway, JH was talking about another gal we know, and described her as a "greedy cunt". This, of course, sent me into gales and gales of laughter because... who talks like that? Aren't we all adults here? Apparently not. Anyway, the bullfrog was hopping out into the traffic of the parking garage at precisely this moment. So I had to kind of slam on my brakes, but I was throwing my head back in laughter at the same time. So it didn't look good. But seriously lady-- play Frogger in the arcade, not the parking garage. K? thx.

Don't even get me started on Sullen Fat Girl. That's a story for later.

Love,

Fluffy

So there.

Dear Diary,

Last night I was even more selfish than usual and met my friend, Mrs. P, for a happy hour drink. Anyway, I thought the mad man and the BHE could use some quality time.

We went here. This place is so great. If you live in City B, please go because it's one of precious few decent bars in my neighborhood and I don't want it to close. And, AND! We joined their beer league. That's right. They have a very large selection of beers and if you drink every one of them (not in one sitting, obviously, though I'm sure if you did they would put your name on a plaque or something), you join the beer league. I'm not sure what happens when you join; I think you get to drink out of a boot or something? Anyway, it seemed very official. The bartender wrote our names in a book! I had the Guinness and the Anchor Steam! It will probably take me like a year to join the league, but I enjoy a challenge.

In other news, did I mention that I am super mom? I feel that I am juggling my career and motherhood just fine, thank you very much. The mad man seems to like daycare and I am enjoying being back at work. Frankly, I'm tired of people acting like I must be just dying inside. Really, it's OK. This is what I am doing for my family and it's all fine. If you had to do it for your family, you could do it too. And lest you think that I am some insensitive, heartless robot, please be assured that I love my kid just as much as anyone else loves their kids.

Love,
Supermom Fluffy, who is turning down the free ride on the mommy guilt train.

Big Date Night

Dear Diary,

This weekend the BHE and I went out to my company Christmas party while my folks babysat the mad man. Poor little guy picked up the sniffles somewhere, so I was too worried about him to have any kind of good time. I didn't even DRINK (open bar!!!!! I got a drink, a Kettle One on the rocks, and had like one sip then put it down. This time last year, I would have drunk that, then another, then whatever the BHE was drinking, then convinced him to take me out for drinks afterwards, then gone to 7-11 at 2 AM to get a quarter pound big bite slathered with chili and cheese. How times change.). Also, my feet hurt from wearing high heels and I was so tired from having to chew with my mouth closed and stand up straight all night.

Here we are, pre-party. We both look totally insane in this picture; it's that special kind of insane enjoyed by those with sleep deprivation.

Here is the mad man, starting to think wait a second, that lady with the boobs thinks she's gonna dump me on Grandma and Grandpa for the night...

Today he is not feeling great, and had been sleeping a little long for my taste, so I did the only thing that I know is a fail-safe way to wake him up.

I put him in his crib. It's like magic; he was awake within 2 minutes.

I know, I know. Something is very wrong here. I'll worry about it later.

Love,
Fluffy

Back to the Grind

Dear Diary,


Today was my first day back at the office. Everything went down OK. The mad man did pretty well at daycare. I was able to pump a bottle at lunchtime in a vacant room in the basement (glamorous, yes?) I missed him but when I picked him up he was all, "Whatever, lady. Less fawning, more boobs." And he did not smile for me not even once when we got home, then of course when the BHE walked in it was like the freaking circus came to town.


So, being back at work is reminding me of how much of a germophobe I am. I don't think I touched one door handle in that joint the whole time I was pregnant, and I ain't starting now. Don't even get me started about the snot-nosed toddlers at daycare. . Yes yes, I'm glad you like Edwin but please DO NOT TOUCH HIM WITH YOUR GRIMY TODDLER MITS! He is really into shoving his hands into his mouth right now. Good thing he is a little slow on the grabbing of objects so far.


But anyway. It was a pretty good day. I got to drink coffee and talk to adults. Though I'm sure I made no sense because I'm totally brain dead because Edwin was up every 1.5 hours last night. WTF? Good thing he is cute.






Love,

Fluffy