3 Months to Go

Dear Diary,

This weekend my sisters and sister-in-law threw me a family baby shower. It was great. There was bratwurst and cake! What more could a pregnant woman want, really? We got tons of cute clothes for the baby, and each of my 10 nieces and nephews decorated a onesie for him. Some are totally hilarious, like the one my 8-year old niece made that says, "I am a healthy baby! And I am SMART!" A little presumtuous, no? He also got a pair of black converse, so that he can dress just like the BHE.

So here are some pictures because my brother-in-law is on top of things and sent me some! (I have yet to replace that stupid cable for my stupid camera. Oh, and if you leave your nieces in charge of your camera, you will end up with a series of photos of each of them holding a beer.)


India and Lillian: oldest niece, youngest niece.




These particular neices were the flower girls in our wedding 5 years ago. (India, Rain, Autumn, and Helen). And one of them pulled up her dress for the whole congregation during the ceremony. I don't think she does that anymore.



The future of parenthood.

Anyway, a fun day. We feel very lucky to have such a large and loving family ready to welcome our baby. Barf, sorry to get all sentimental. Must have been all the cake and bratwurst.

Love,

Fluffy

To All Interested Parties

I baked a cake. A spice cake with cream cheese frosting. And had an enormous piece after dinner.

Love,
Fluffy

Halp! Need cake.

Dear Diary,

Today they sent around this email at our company saying we got some certification or whatever, and to celebrate there would be cake in one of the large conference rooms. So my co-worker asked if I wanted to join her on a cake-ing expedition and I was all, no thanks, I just had lunch and I really don't want to be that pregnant woman who's fat from eating cake constantly (I didn't say that, but you get the idea). No no, I'm just fine with no cake.

So then about a half hour passed, and I was thinking about how every single night after dinner I look over at the BHE while we are watching jeopardy and I say, "Do you have any cake? Cake of any kind?" Of course he never does, so I try to satisfy the craving with soy ice cream and maybe one cookie instead. How lame is that, when I really want cake? I deserve an effing piece of cake, I decided. I've only gained 8 pounds, my ass is still its normal size so why shouldn't I have some cake? So I went up to the conference room to get some cake, confident that I deserved it and very very excited to eat it.

And it was all gone.

Love,
Fluffy

The Land of the Lost

Dear Diary,

So I have all these pictures that I want to upload to Flickr, and maybe some here, but I seem to have lost the stupid cable that plugs my stupid camera into the stupid computer. There are, like, a million cables lying around, not one of which is the cable in question. HOW COULD IT JUST BE GONE???? This is the story of my life.

Yesterday, I was all ready to cook for real, with the chicken and the oven and the lemons and the whole thing and I could not find my 9x9 pyrex baking dish. It was just nowhere. Just... gone. And our kitchen is really not that big, there are really not that many places it could be. I think I last used it to bake brownies a couple weeks ago, and maybe in my enthusiasm for eating the delicious delicious brownies I also devoured the glass dish? Also, the BHE lost an entire suitcase. Just... gone. How does one misplace a suitcase? Or a pyrex dish? I can kind of see how the cable could go missing. We have dogs and cats, they eat weird things. But a suitcase? Really?

Anyway, back to the camera. I hear that they make wireless memory cards that allow you to upload photos without a stupid cable that gets lost. Anyone? Anyone? Because I cannot deal anymore. The frustration is compounded by the fact that we are trying to get rid a bunch of crap to make room for the baby, and some of it I would like to post on Craig's list, so I took pictures of everything but CAN'T UPLOAD BECAUSE I CAN'T FIND THE STUPID CABLE.

Just a little frustrated, sorry, I should just eat more brownies, but wait, I can't, because I can't find that pyrex dish that is the perfect size for brownies.

Love,

Fluffy

She Must Be Stopped

"[Being pregnant] It's great for the sex life. It just makes you a lot more creative. So you have fun, and as a woman you're just so round and full."

- Angelina Jolie in the new issue of Entertainment Weekly

Angelina, sweetie. PLEASE stop talking about your pregnancy in this manner. Here's a deal: you stop yapping to the press about how much hot pregnancy sex you're having and I'll avoid talking about how constipated I am. K? Thx.

Love,
Fluffy

Going to Blogger Hell

Dear Diary,

I am probably getting myself into trouble here, so let me preface this by saying that I am a HUGE Dooce fan. I have read every post and looked at every photograph religiously, for quite some time now. I think she's hilarious, I love her photography, I love her dogs, I love her hair, I love everything she does, I wish I could get that smokey eye makeup right like she does, (instead of ending up looking like a victim of domestic abuse or zombieism like I always seem to), blah blah. And I know that she's had a lot of things going on lately, what with getting all famous and being on the Today Show and putting out books and signing them and whatnot.

But I find myself digging her site even more this week, because she has had guest posters every day while she is on vacation.

OMG did I say that out loud? No, phew, I only wrote it.

Love,
Fluffy

GABON. IS HE FROM GABON.

Dear Diary,

I don't watch Survivor; in fact I only watched the first season with that awesome naked queen. But I just may have to watch the upcoming season in Gabon, because of this clip from Ab Fab that is to me the single most hilarious moment in television history.

Click here, sweetie darling.

Love,
Fluffy

Sweetney Says

Dear Diary,

Sweetney asked her readers to take a picture of themselves and post it. Like, right now, no retouching. She is a fellow City B resident, by the by. I don't think we know each other, but in this town it is likely that we have several mutual friends, or that we dated each other's husbands or podiatrists.

Anyway, here you are. When I take pictures of myself I tend to look scared. This is no exception. I also tend to cut off the bottom of my face.

And now, because I love copying other peoples' good ideas, please consider doing the same. Take a picture of yourself right now, and post the link in the comments. If you want to.

Love,

Fluffy

P.S. - The BHE is working from home today because it is the baseball draft and he HAS to monitor it all day. You would not believe how excited he gets about the baseball draft. Almost as excited as he got when I told him that a chili dog place opened up near my work, and its logo is a dancing hot dog.

Dear Chris Martin,

Did Bono help you practice the "I am the king of the world" move in front of the mirror for that commercial you did? Nice bombast.

Please get over yourself. Kthx.

Love,
Fluffy

P.S.: I still think you're hot. But you are really pushing it.